I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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