is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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