Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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