That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
