Soap is not a condiment
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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