I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize