what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize