Got a toothbrush?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
