Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
