I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
