oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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