I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.