Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5

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(224): View more from Illinois

She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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(224): She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on http://tfl.nu/bnaa

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night

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(919): So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night http://tfl.nu/maqo

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(937): View more from Ohio

We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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(937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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(630): I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti. http://tfl.nu/166m

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(904): View more from Florida

My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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(904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.

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(919): So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma. http://tfl.nu/it54

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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(828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt

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(972): View more from Texas

Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.

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(972): Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention. http://tfl.nu/nbnk

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(931): View more from Tennessee

there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood

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(931): there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood http://tfl.nu/qekx

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(647): View more from Ontario

We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

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(647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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(506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.

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(248): Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift. http://tfl.nu/gpor

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(416): View more from Toronto

The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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(416): The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won. http://tfl.nu/zzwg

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(253): View more from Washington

I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think that's a new house record

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(253): I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat (1-253): I think that's a new house record http://tfl.nu/c3oi

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