I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina