Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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