I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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