I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
