tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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