yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
