Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize