break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
