yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
