okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
