I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
vagina is talking i cant
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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