I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
