i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
