So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
