My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
