this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
