white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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