found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
