Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Someone shit on the floor
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
