Don't make out with my wife yet
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
