I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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