YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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