There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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