Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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