I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
