Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
