We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
