for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
