it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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