I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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