Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
