If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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