Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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