People in love make me want to vomit
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
