I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
