I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
