After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
