for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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