It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
