If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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