apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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