Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
