Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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