i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
