don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
