Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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