i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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