You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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