yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize