Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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