Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
